The Daily Misanthrope

Every edition of The Daily Misanthrope, preserved for posterity. Humanity's record speaks for itself.

• October 2, 2026 — They Asked a Machine to Argue Their Cases. It Invented the Law, and They Filed…
• October 1, 2026 — He Argued a High Court Execution Case From a Moving Car. The Bench Fined Him a…
• September 30, 2026 — He Reversed His Vasectomy, Then Faked His Own Drowning in Wisconsin's Deepest…
• September 29, 2026 — He Made Nine Fraudulent Loan Applications for Five Companies, Took £450,000,…
• September 28, 2026 — Seven Companies Filed Audited Accounts. The Auditors Named in Them Had Never…
• September 27, 2026 — The Agency Whose Entire Product Is Telling Washington That It Does Not Check…
• September 26, 2026 — He Was a Doctor. He Was Also the 18th Duke of Ahlbeck. He Was Also Banned From…
• September 25, 2026 — A Window Fell Twenty-Six Storeys From the Luxury Penthouses and Narrowly…
• September 24, 2026 — The Species Dumped 1.26 Million Heaps of Its Own Rubbish on England in a Year.…
• September 23, 2026 — The Council Cemented a Fence Across an Eighty-One-Year-Old's Garden Gap, Then…
• September 22, 2026 — He Telephoned 675,478 People Who Had Formally Registered That They Did Not…
• September 21, 2026 — He Applied for Jobs in Order to Sue for Not Getting Them. After Two Appeals…
• September 20, 2026 — Congress Raised the Ceiling for a 'Small' Disaster Grant From $132,800 to $1…
• September 19, 2026 — Accused of Misconduct by His Own Regulator, He Filed a Defence Citing Cases…
• September 18, 2026 — Galway Paid €28,000 for a New Logo. Told It Was Almost Identical to a Belgian…
• September 17, 2026 — The Charity Took $118 Million to House the Unhoused. Prosecutors Say $12…
• September 16, 2026 — The Department Keeps 189 Office Buildings. In 89 Per Cent of Them, Not Enough…
• September 15, 2026 — The Company Cut Holes in Its Own Machine Guards So People Could Reach In, Then…
• September 14, 2026 — The Navy Spent $3.4 Billion Keeping Full Crews Aboard Submarines That Were Not…
• September 13, 2026 — Medicare Paid $380 Million Over Six Years for Organs That Went Into Nobody.…
• September 12, 2026 — A Spreadsheet Converted Canadian Dollars Into American Dollars. They Were…
• September 11, 2026 — The Government Paid an Advertising Agency £532,000 for a Full Stop, Then…
• September 7, 2026 — He Applied for the Emergency Covid Loan Nine Separate Times in Seven Weeks,…
• September 6, 2026 — Six Councils Declared They Could No Longer Balance Their Books. Over the Same…
• September 5, 2026 — Medicare Spent $587.7 Million on Five Drugs Anyone Could Buy Off a Shelf. The…
• September 4, 2026 — Bloomington Paid $95,000 for a Letter B. The 117-Page Manual Explaining It…
• September 3, 2026 — Tauranga Ratepayers Were Billed $67,739 for the Art on One Bus Stop. Fifty…
• September 2, 2026 — The App Promised You Would 'NEVER Look Unattractive Again' and Scored Your…
• September 1, 2026 — He Was Handed the President's Words an Hour Before Anybody Heard Them. So He…
• August 31, 2026 — He Spent More Than $250,000 Over Budget Doing Up His Own Council House, Then…
• August 30, 2026 — The Safety Gate Was Damaged, So the Guard Could Be Lifted Without Stopping the…
• August 29, 2026 — The Council Paid Consultants $35,986.25 to Find Out What It Believed In. The…
• August 28, 2026 — A Solicitor Brought a Discrimination Claim, Then Ignored Every Order the…
• August 27, 2026 — Sacked for Harassing a Teacher, He Took the Case to a Tribunal and Accused the…
• August 26, 2026 — Her Heart Stopped in the Supermarket Car Park. The Parking Company Considered…
• August 25, 2026 — The Council Incorporated a Company It Was Not Permitted to Incorporate, Fed It…
• August 24, 2026 — He Has Never Smoked. A Council Contractor Fined Him for Dropping a Cigarette,…
• August 23, 2026 — It Offered Britons a Free Alternative to a Funeral, With a Norwich Address and…
• August 22, 2026 — A Deputy Administrator in the Office That Dockets Every Criminal Case in…
• August 18, 2026 — She Secretly Recorded Family Court Hearings, Then Emailed the Recordings Out…
• August 17, 2026 — He Built the Extension Around the Boiler Flue. The Flue's Entire Purpose Is to…
• August 16, 2026 — He Told the Court He Was in an Induced Coma. He Was Updating His Facebook…
• August 15, 2026 — Caught With the Answers in His Pharmacology Exam, He Went to the Resit and…
• August 14, 2026 — He Robbed His Own Restaurant at Gunpoint, Then Turned Up Two Days Later for…
• August 13, 2026 — The University Took 624 Days to Answer His Grievance, and the Vice-Chancellor…
• August 12, 2026 — A Judge's Storeroom Caught Fire and the Firemen Found Half-Burnt Bundles of…
• August 11, 2026 — She Cleared Her Own Credit Card With the Charity's Money and Wrote It in the…
• August 10, 2026 — Banned Three Times From Running Companies, He Ran One Anyway for Three Years.…
• August 9, 2026 — Two Prison Officers Sat Through the Anti-Corruption Module, Then Ordered…
• August 8, 2026 — A Cambridge Professor Resigns Amid a Plagiarism Inquiry Into the Doctorate…
• August 7, 2026 — He Applied for 2,071 NHS Jobs, Invented an Oxford Master's to Win Thirteen of…
• August 6, 2026 — He Invented a Police Constable to Get Nando's CCTV of His Ex. He Paid for the…
• August 5, 2026 — He Told the Lender His Company Turned Over £100,000. His Own Filed Accounts…
• August 4, 2026 — Judge Told Wildlife Officers He Was Too Busy Being a Judge to Register His…
• August 3, 2026 — Solicitor Told a Family Court Four Times That He Was at the Ealing Office. He…
• August 2, 2026 — Solicitor Loses His Client's Case, Is Asked by the Regulator How He Knows the…
• August 1, 2026 — Four Californians Put a Man in a Bear Suit, Filmed Him Mauling a Rolls-Royce,…
• July 31, 2026 — Man Collects $100,000 in Disability Benefits for an Arm He Says He Cannot…
• July 30, 2026 — Director Lowers a 100kg Steel Beam on a Ratchet Strap Not Made for Lifting, Is…
• July 29, 2026 — Recorder Is Caught Speeding Three Times by the Same Newly Installed Camera on…
• July 28, 2026 — City Banking Solicitor Insures His Bicycle Immediately After It Is Stolen,…
• July 27, 2026 — "Legal Consultant" Fabricates Court Orders, Letters of Claim and Costs…
• July 26, 2026 — City Banking Lawyer Has His Bicycle Stolen, Adds It to His Insurance Policy…
• July 25, 2026 — Man Walks Out of a Convenience Store With a Twelve-Pack He Did Not Pay For,…
• July 24, 2026 — Armed Robber Takes Two Luxury Watches at Gunpoint, Then Posts a TikTok of…
• July 23, 2026 — Ohio's Highest Court Rules That 'Boneless Wings' Are Allowed to Contain Bones…
• July 22, 2026 — Bank Fraudster With the Chase Logo Tattooed on His Face Ran a $2.8M Check…
• July 20, 2026 — Ten-Plus Civilian Pilots Flew Into World Cup Final Restricted Airspace; NORAD…
• July 19, 2026 — Florida Man Crashes Truck 'After Seeing the Antichrist,' Then Tries to Steal…
• July 18, 2026 — He Rigged a Fake Bladder to Beat a Drug Test, Drove There on a Suspended…
• July 17, 2026 — He Named His Escape Boat 'The Silver Lining,' Used 12 Aliases, Stayed in U.S.…
• July 16, 2026 — A Man Cases a Pet Store for Weeks, Steals a Kitten Named Magnolia, Carries Her…
• July 15, 2026 — A 'Charismatic Working Mom' Broadcasts ¥2.5 Billion in Sales to Half a Million…
• July 14, 2026 — A Burglar Photographs Himself Mid-Heist — Masked, Flashing a Peace Sign Beside…
• July 13, 2026 — A Fuel Thief Hoods His Face and Angles His Car Boot to Blind the Camera — Then…
• July 12, 2026 — Two Men Allegedly Steal $100,000 in Copper and Tools — and One Pauses…
• July 11, 2026 — A Maryland Man Smashed Into a Verizon Store at 5 A.M., Left His Truck Running…
• July 10, 2026 — A Florida Man Bolted Illegal Red-and-Blue Lights, a Two-Foot Light Bar, and a…
• July 9, 2026 — Three Men Built a Fishing Rod Out of a Belt and a Glue Trap, Reeled 6,750…
• July 8, 2026 — A Chico Woman Allegedly Stole From a Parked Car, Fled Across a Creek to Shake…
• July 7, 2026 — United Airlines Charged a Premium for 'Window Seats' Facing Blank Walls — Then…
• July 6, 2026 — A Former Justice of the Peace Put Blue Lights on His Tahoe and Tried To Pull…
• July 5, 2026 — Contempt of Clerk: Reprimanded in 2023 for an 'Overly Harsh' Chambers, a…
• July 4, 2026 — On the Nation's 250th Birthday, Nearly Half of Its Heirs Cannot Say What the…
• July 3, 2026 — A Winn-Dixie Clerk Stole More Than 500 Lottery Scratch-Offs, Then Fed Every…
• July 2, 2026 — The Hollywood Director Who Told Netflix He Needed $11 Million To Finish a…
• July 1, 2026 — A Wolverhampton People-Smuggler Who Made About £185,000 Moving Non-British…
• June 30, 2026 — Four Men Stole a Backhoe From a Nearby Beach, Used It to Rip a Cash Machine…
• June 29, 2026 — A JPMorgan Executive, Attending the Knicks' NBA Championship Parade, Emptied a…
• June 28, 2026 — A Widnes Cocaine Boss Who Chose the Encrypted Phone Network Precisely So No…
• June 27, 2026 — A 33-Year-Old Florida Man With Sixteen Prior Arrests, Riding a Lightless,…
• June 26, 2026 — The Most Expensive Warship Ever Floated — Thirteen Billion Dollars of American…
• June 25, 2026 — A Texas Man Wanted on Three Aggravated-Assault Warrants Was Asked by a Border…
• June 24, 2026 — A 45-Year-Old Darwin Man Drove His Holden Captiva Straight Through a Line of…
• June 23, 2026 — A Handcuffed Dallas Man Slipped One Hand Free, Hijacked the Patrol Car With an…
• June 22, 2026 — A Florida Man Doing More Than Ninety on Interstate 75 Was Pulled Over by a…
• June 21, 2026 — A Maryland Man Bolted Police Lights Onto His Personal Ford Taurus and…
• June 20, 2026 — A Milwaukee Police Officer Ran 179 Searches on the Department's License-Plate…
• June 19, 2026 — The Union Secretary on $312,000 Stole $82,914 From the Members' Charity to…
• June 18, 2026 — A Maryland Man Allegedly Outfitted His Ford Taurus With Red and Blue Lights…
• June 17, 2026 — A Security Guard at Bangkok's Wat Pho Temple Climbed the Wall, Wrapped a Cloth…
• June 16, 2026 — An Oklahoma Man Was Found Digging Against the Wall of the County Jail With a…
• June 15, 2026 — Four Farmers Ran a $6.5 Million Crop-Insurance Fraud by Physically Sabotaging…
• June 14, 2026 — A North Carolina Police Officer Threw His Department-Issued Bodycam Into a…
• June 13, 2026 — A Self-Described Career Burglar With 34 Theft Offences Broke Into a £4 Million…
• June 12, 2026 — A Cape Coral Man Conducted 97 Fraudulent Self-Checkout Transactions at the…
• June 11, 2026 — A New Jersey Man Stole a Dump Truck and Livestreamed the Police Chase to…
• June 10, 2026 — A Florida Semi Driver Built a Concealment Kit — Black Tape Over the Pump…
• June 9, 2026 — An Iowa Man Posted on Social Media That He Had Broken Into a Parked Car…
• June 8, 2026 — A Florida Police Officer Was Arrested for Using His Girlfriend's Late Father's…
• June 7, 2026 — An Indiana Police Chief Was Arrested After Allegedly Stealing a Firearm From…
• June 6, 2026 — A Federal Prosecutor Stole a Sealed Special Counsel Report by Renaming It…
• June 5, 2026 — Three Telekom Malaysia USA Executives Were Charged With Stealing $20 Million…
• June 4, 2026 — A Former IRS Revenue Agent Was Charged With Embezzling $12 Million From a New…
• June 3, 2026 — A Former Senior CIA Official Was Arrested After FBI Agents Found 303 Gold…
• June 2, 2026 — A Sydney Solicitor Was Arrested for Using His Practising Certificate to…
• June 1, 2026 — A Senior NIH Advisor Was Indicted for Using Personal Gmail to Hide Federal…
• May 31, 2026 — A Google Engineer Whose Job Included Preparing the Company's Annual 'Year in…
• May 30, 2026 — A Pennsylvania Man Told His Wife 'If It's Over, I'll Tear the House Down.' She…
• May 29, 2026 — A Former Senior CIA Official Was Arrested After the FBI Found 303 Gold Bars…
• May 28, 2026 — A Managing Assistant U.S. Attorney at the DOJ Was Indicted for Downloading the…
• May 27, 2026 — The Warden of a Louisiana Prison Used an Electric Riot Shield to Shock 13…
• May 26, 2026 — Robert McCloughy Spent His Career at the IRS Learning How Financial Fraud Is…
• May 25, 2026 — Aimee Bock Founded a Nonprofit to Distribute Meals to Children. She Converted…
• May 24, 2026 — India's National Testing Agency Appointed Manisha Havaldar as a Physics Expert…
• May 23, 2026 — A Chick-fil-A Employee Rang Up 800 Fake Mac-and-Cheese Orders Through the POS…
• May 22, 2026 — India's Central Bureau of Investigation Arrested a Delhi Development Authority…
• May 21, 2026 — Aimee Bock Founded a Nonprofit Called 'Feeding Our Future,' Collected $250…
• May 20, 2026 — Robert McCloughy Spent a Decade at the IRS Learning How Financial Crime Gets…
• May 19, 2026 — Texas Lottery Commission Executive Director Gary Grief Indicted for Allegedly…
• May 18, 2026 — Los Angeles Duo Convinced Elderly Victim to Withdraw $25,000 Cash. Then Called…
• May 17, 2026 — California Hospice Billed Medicare $7.45 Million for 'Terminal' Patients. Its…
• May 16, 2026 — South Carolina Man Arrested for Trespassing, Owed $250 Bail. Paid the Judge…
• May 15, 2026 — Australian Secretary Charged With 82 Counts of Fraud After Five-Year $1.6M…
• May 14, 2026