A Handcuffed Dallas Man Slipped One Hand Free, Hijacked the Patrol Car With an Officer Still Trapped in the Back Seat, Tore the Wires Out of the Taser Aimed at Him — and Then Opened the Door and Leapt From the Moving Cruiser at Fifty Miles an Hour, Knocking Himself Unconscious in the Road

Huffman defeated his handcuffs, the Taser, and the locked doors in turn, surmounting every obstacle between himself and freedom except the last and most predictable one, which was the road arriving at fifty miles an hour to meet him.

Source: CBS News Texas

A Newburyport Man Drove the Wrong Way Down Route 1 at Two in the Morning and Managed, Out of Every Vehicle on the Highway, to Crash Head-On Into a Marked State Police Cruiser

Of all the headlights bearing down on him in the wrong lane, Di Benedetto found the one set attached to a state trooper, having reduced the considerable challenge of getting caught drunk to the formality of delivering himself, grille-first, to the officer who would arrest him.

Source: CBS News Boston

A Norwich Burglar on His Third Such Conviction Crept Into a Home That Was Quietly Filming Him on Its Own CCTV, Then Robbed a Bar Too, and Was Recognised on Sight by the Officers Who Already Had His Face

Robbens performed his break-in for the homeowner's own cameras and then, his face by now circulated to every officer in Norwich, kept walking the city's streets as though anonymity were a thing he still possessed.

Source: Norfolk Constabulary

A South Yorkshire Burglar With Thirty-Nine Prior Convictions Paused Mid-Burglary to Gnaw on a Block of Cheese From the Victim's Fridge, Leaving Behind the Bite Marks and Saliva That Carried His DNA Straight to a Cell

Walker, a man with thirty-nine convictions and presumably some passing familiarity with how he keeps getting caught, interrupted his own burglary to sample the cheese, signing the crime scene with the single set of teeth marks on earth guaranteed to be his.

Source: The Star (Sheffield)

An Intoxicated Montreal Man Stole a Marked City Police Car and Took It on a Joyride Across the River, Leading Officers in Pursuit of Their Own Cruiser Until It Was Cornered in Varennes

Having decided that the ideal vehicle in which to flee the police was the police's own, the twenty-eight-year-old led a chase in a car purpose-built to be chased, fitted with the very radio and lights now coordinating his capture.

Source: CTV News Montreal

A Texas Judge Told a Defendant He'd Be 'Passed Around for Cigarettes' in Prison — Then Learned Her 'Off the Record' Aside Was Still Livestreaming to Her Court's YouTube Channel

The bench, to Judge Boyd, was content. She narrated her own courtroom to a YouTube audience, weighed in on cases she had yet to decide, and — in the gesture that distills her — declared the proceedings 'off the record' while her livestream dutifully kept rolling, then promised a young defendant he'd be 'passed around for cigarettes' in the prison she was sending him to. She assured the Commission her rulings rested 'solely on the evidence and the law.' She offered that assurance to the only people in Texas holding the tape.

Source: ABA Journal / Texas State Commission on Judicial Conduct

An Australian Man Spent Two Years and Roughly $800,000 on a Woman He Had Never Once Met, Took Out a Second Mortgage to Buy Her a House, and Kept Sending Money Even After the Threats Began

Two years without once seeing her face, a second mortgage, and at last open threats — each a signpost the man studied carefully before concluding that the prudent course was a further payment on the house he was buying for a woman who did not exist.

Source: Smart Property Investment

511 Builders Each Paid Up to £500 to Avoid Sitting a £23.50 Safety Test — and the Man Who Sold Them the Shortcut Is Now in Prison

Five hundred and eleven grown men looked at a £23.50 test they could have passed in an afternoon and concluded that the more sensible path was to pay twenty times the price to a stranger and acquire, into the bargain, a criminal record.

Source: Construction Enquirer

An Olympic Biathlete, Live on National Television and Asked by No One, Used His Post-Race Interview to Confess That He Had Cheated on His Girlfriend

Handed a microphone and a simple question about a ski race, Lægreid elected instead to broadcast his own infidelity to several million strangers — a confession so spectacularly unforced that it reads less as honesty than as a man tackling himself in open ground.

Source: Euronews

A 61-Year-Old Villager Flipped His Golf Cart in a Roundabout at Nearly Three Times the Legal Limit, an Open and Still-Cold Beer Sitting in the Cupholder, and Helpfully Told the Medics He Had Just Left the Square

Mancuso supplied the deputies with the wreck, the open beer, a blood-alcohol reading approaching a third of a bottle, and an unprompted account of his evening's itinerary, sparing the investigation every step but the paperwork.

Source: Villages-News.com

After Their Online Learning Platform Was Hacked Twice in a Week, Universities From Illinois to the Entire University of California System Cancelled Final Exams — Including for Classes That Have Never Once Used the Platform

Source: Inside Higher Ed